Damu Ya Ukoo Wangu: Sehemu ya 3

Roho ya kishetani ilikuwa ikizidi kuniingia akilini na tayari nilishakata shauri, nikashika njia kwa haraka bila hata ya kugeuka nyuma kutoka nje ya hospitali hiyo nikijificha nisionwe na ndugu na jamaa pale hospitali. Nilipanda gari hadi kariakoo ambako nikachukua gari ya ubungo na kushukia magomeni Kagera ambako ndiyo nyumbani. Niliingia ndani na kumkuta mtoto wangu Matata akiwa amejilaza kwenye malu malu akichora chora kwenye gazeti. Aliponiona tu akaniamkia,

“Shikamoo ba mkubwa.”

Japo alikuwa ni mwanangu wa damu, alikuwa amefanana sana na Shukuru na kutokana na baadhi ya mambo yaliyotokea huko nyuma, mtoto huyu alijua Shukuru ndiyo baba yake. Na wote kasoro Shukuru na mke wangu tulifanywa tudhanie hivyo.

“Marahaba. Njoo ulale huku muda umefika wa kulala mchana.”

Nilijibu kwa sauti ya kawaida nikijitahidi kuficha hasira zilizokuwa zimetokana na hali mbaya ya mke wangu na kwamba zilisababishwa na mtoto huyo Matata. Mtoto ambaye nilichukua muda kuamini ni damu yangu naye akawa akihitajika dunia nyingine. Nilijitahidi kumzuia abaki dunia yetu ya kawaida lakini maji yalikuwa yamenifikia shingoni, nilishindwa kuruhusu kupoteza kila kitu kwa ajili yake.

Mtoto huyo alionesha kutokupendezewa na swala la kulala muda ule lakini kwa vile alikuwa akiniogopa, alishindwa kubisha na kunifuata mpaka chumbani. Hiyo ilikuwa muhimu ili mimi kuweza kukamilisha makubaliano na nguvu ambayo ilikuwa ikimuua mke wangu kwa kuinyima almasi yake. Nguvu hiyo ndiyo ilikuwa mpinzani wangu na muda wa wote kushinda ulikuwa umefika.

Sehemu ya moyo wangu ilikuwa ikinikataza lakini sehemu iliyobaki ilinionesha nuru na mafanikio ya mimi kuweka makubaliano na nguvu hiyo. Nililala chali kitandani nikijihisi mtu katili na asiyefaa kwenye jamii. Uwoga ulikuwa ukiongezeka ndani yangu na kunifanya nianze kumuonea huruma mtoto huyo. Ule upande wa pili nao ulikuwa ukiniambia nisipofanya makubaliano basi nitakuwa sijawatendea haki watu wengi.

‘Lakini kwa nini ruhusa lazima itoke kwangu?’

‘Labda kwa vile mimi ndiyo mtoto wa kwanza wa familia yetu.’

‘Sasa ndiyo nimtoe kafara hata mtoto wa Shukuru?’

‘Siyo kafara, hiyo ni sadaka kwa Shukuru na msaada kwa Matata. Huku atateseka tu bora akawaongoze huko wamtakapo’

Maswali yalinifululiza kichwani na kujaribu kujijibu mwenyewe. Nilipofikia hapo, nikajikuta nikipata wazo ambalo nilijua lingeweza kumaliza maamuzi yangu. Nilimgeukia Matata aliyekuwa amefumba macho kujaribu kutafuta usingizi.

“Matata mwanangu, najua wewe bado mdogo kuelewa hivi vitu lakini kama ni kweli basi utanielewa. Nimejitahidi kufanya kile ambacho ndugu yeyote angekifanya lakini naogopa ninaweza nikawa kweli nikikosea. Naomba unioneshe kama walichokisema kuhusu wewe ni ukweli au walidanganya.”

Nilipomaliza kuongea maneno hayo juu ya sikio la kulia la Matata, nilinyanyuka na kwenda nje ambapo nilichukua kijiti na kuingia nacho chumbani. Kisha nikachukua peni na karatasi na kuviweka vitu vyote pamoja, peni na kijiti vikiwa juu ya karatasi.

“Matata, chagua kitu cha kuchorea kwenye karatasi.”

Nilimuamsha mtoto huyo na kumuomba hivyo huku nikimuashiria kwa mikono achague kati ya peni na kijiti. Matata alianza kufurahi akichukua kijiti na kukishikilia kwa nguvu mkononi.

Macho yalinitoka kama mjusi aliyebanwa na mlango nisiamini nilichokiona. Hatimaye niliweza kuelewa chanzo cha matatizo kwani maelezo ya yule mchawi yalikuwa yakijihakikisha ukweli wake sasa. Matata tayari alishafumba macho namoyo wangu tayari ulishafanya maamuzi.

 [Nini kitafuata..? Endelea kufuatilia simulizi hili. Pia nakala zipo tayari madukani.]

Lessons from Mad Max Fury Road 2015

The part that I liked in this movie was when Furiosa tried to convince Max to take her together with the breeders (the girls that the King used for reproduction) in the track. Although not easily noticed, Furiosa followed some steps trying to convince Max and realized that the best way to get what she wanted, was to give something Max wanted. She negotiated like what I could say a universal negotiator.

One of the best negotiators in United States of America referred to negotiation process as a process of exchanging of information. That is, the one who knows more, is the one to lead and benefit more from the deal. In his book, he argued that the simple and yet working steps for a better deal at negotiation involves three activities: preparing, probing and proposing.

From our scene, we can highlight how these processes were followed. Among the things to note down are that; you can’t have a better deal if you don’t know what problem the other side faces that will push it into negotiation process. Once you know the problem, let the other side know that you can provide the solution but in return, you need something back. Only then will you be able to propose a better deal. Last but not the least, observe the severity of the problem or strength of the offerings on both sides. A big problem on your side should make sure offers solutions to a big problem on the other side. Anyway, let’s get to business.

This was how the scene went and the implied meanings are in brackets. Scene starting time is on 39^th min…

Furiosa: Kill switches.

(She has observed the problem of vehicle stopping that faced Max and shows Max that she knows the problem he is facing.)

Furiosa: I set the sequence myself….. This rig goes nowhere without me.

(By saying that she set the sequence, she implies that she knows the solution to his problem. And the this rig goes nowhere without me, is the proposing that if you want to run away on this vehicle, you have to take me. Let me run too.)

Max: You can get in.

(Max accepts the deal. I think this is open.)

Furiosa: Not without them.

(She says that you need to offer more than that if you want me to help you escape. She now acts as the one with resources knowing that Max needs her help. Notice the technique used, the exchange of power. Before knowing Max would need to escape with help of the truck, Furiosa acted as if all what she needed was her to run away. But after putting Max in position to need her help, she demanded what she wanted Max to offer. It tells you to start demanding small things and go on increasing what you need as the negation seems to end into a deal being closed.)

Max: So we wait.

(This happened after Max looked around. It can be termed as that Max reassessed the deal and either he was worried that he would have offered more than what he would have got or that he realized that the problem Furiosa was facing needed her to offer more than just helping him run away by driving the truck.)

Furiosa: You’re relying on the gratitude of a very bad man…. You’ve already damaged one of his wives… How grateful do you think he is gonna be?  You’re sitting on 2,000 horse power of nitro-boosted war machine. I’d say you’ve got about a five-minute head start.

(If Max thought Furiosa’s problem was much severe, Furiosa tried to show Max the severity of his problem. Max starts understanding her when he starts squinting at her but he remains doubting taking the deal. He still thinks that Furiosa will benefit more than he does.)

Furiosa: You want that thing off your face?

(Bravooo… Furiosa offers another thing and gets the interest of Max. Now Max becomes ready to take the breeders too. That is another offer for another need.)

Thank you… Watch the video with subtitles for the scene above and comment your views..

Don’t miss my next lesson that will be out in few days to come.

Mambo ya kuzingatia kuhusu kucheka… Cheka panapostahili, kujichekesha sio dili!

Mchango wa Hadhi(Wadhifa) katika kucheka.

Katika nakala iliyopita kwenye mfululizo wa nakala hizi, tuliona jinsi uhusiano na hisia zilivyo na mchango katika kumfanya mtu acheke awapo na watu fulani. Tuliona kwamba mtu anacheka kirahisi awapo na familia yake ama kazini, yaani jinsi uimara wa uhusiano ulivyo au hisia zilizopo ndiyo urahisi wa mtu kucheka ulivyo.

Katika nakala hii tunageukia katika kitu kingine ambacho kina mchango mkubwa katika kumfanya mtu acheke. Wengi tumewahi kulishuhudia hili ingawa kuna uwezekano hatukuliwekea mkazo. Tumeona katika filamu nyingi, pale mkuu au bosi wa kikundi fulani anapotokewa na kitu cha kuchekesha ambacho kinaweza kuwa kikimuaibisha kwa namna moja au nyingine, wale wafuasi hucheka endapo tu mkuu wao ataanzisha au kuruhusu wao kucheka na punde atakaponyamaza, basi nao hufuata.

Rafiki yangu mmoja aliwahi kuniambia kauli moja, ‘Huhitaji kuwa mchekeshaji, ukishakuwa tajiri basi watu karibu yako hujikuta wakicheka tu hata ukiongea pumba.’ Hakuwa akikosea. Ukweli ni kwamba watu wawapo na watu wenye hadhi kubwa zaidi yao, hujikuta katika hali ya kucheka zaidi kuliko wakiwa na watu wa hadhi ya chini yao au hadhi sawa.

Umewahi kuona namna watu waliokaa meza moja katika baa wanavyocheka? Au kikundi cha watu wa ofisi moja wakicheka? Vicheko huongezeka na watu kuwa huru zaidi endapo mkuu au bosi yupo katika kundi hilo. Mchango wa mkuu au bosi huyo katika kuwafanya watu kucheka ni pale atakapotoa kichekesho ambacho anategemea watu wacheke au atakapoanzisha kucheka kichekesho cha mtu mwingine.

Pia hili tunaweza kuliona katika familia zetu na kama tunakumbuka kipindi tukiwa tunasoma. Kichekesho hicho hicho kikitolewa na kaka au dada nyumbani kitachekesha tofauti kama kitatolewa na mama au baba wa familia. Hivyo hivyo ndivyo ilivyo endapo mwalimu atajaribu kutoa kichekesho kwa wanafunzi wake. Hata kama kichekesho kitakuwa cha kawaida sana au hakichekeshi, bado wanafunzi watajikuta wakicheka.

La kuzingatia… Kucheka uwapo na mtu mwenye hadhi zaidi yako, ni jambo linalotakiwa kutokea bila ya kujifikiria. Kumbuka kucheka kunatokea pale tu mtu awapo na furaha, hivyo kuonesha una furaha kuwa pamoja na mtu huyo ni jambo la msingi. Huhitaji kujichekesha, lakini kuweka akilini kwamba mtu uliyekaa naye ana hadhi zaidi yako na hivyo anakutendea wema kukaa na wewe na kujaribu kukupa furaha kwa kukuchekesha, basi utajikuta ukivielewa vichekesho vyake na kucheka bila pingamizi. Pia, unaweza kutazama namna watu wa kundi moja wanavyocheka na kutambua mkuu katika kikundi hicho.

Katika nakala ijayo; Mchango wa matayarisho ya kucheka kabla ya kucheka…